You have likely seen a lot of information on the narcissist discard, to include why you are discarded, whether it is the final discard, and if the narcissist will hoover to get you back. However, there isn’t much information out there about the discard from the non-narcissist. What if you discard the narcissist? How does the narcissist feel about the discard coming from you, and how do they act in response to the discard?
As you can expect, the narcissist would never be supportive, or understanding, of the discard from someone else. The narcissist is controlling and must create their own reality which supports their fragile ego. The control the narcissist exerts on those around them is less about controlling others, and more about creating as much predictability in their life as possible. The narcissist has an unstable sense of self and lacks object constancy. Small changes in their environment are too much for them to handle and they don’t know how to respond. Whereas most people can accept negative interactions or disappointment and move on, the narcissist can’t. Once their thoughts become negative, everything is seen as all-negative. They can’t hold positive and negative in their mind at the same time.
The narcissist is always on the defensive to prevent narcissistic injury, which occurs when they experience disruption to their already unstable sense of self. They must be the one choosing the next play in their gamebook of control and manipulation and they cannot risk someone else making a move they didn’t prepare for.
The narcissist will keep you around as long as you serve some benefit to them. You are a source of supply for them, and they will never give up a supply source unless that supply source no longer provides the benefits they are looking for.
If you were to discard the narcissist, you will have committed an inexcusable attack on them because this discard from you directly targets their fragile ego. You are immediately moved into the “all bad” side due to their lack of object constancy, and they will enact one of their narcissistic punishment tactics to target you for your actions. They must move into damage control to prevent the loss of more supply than is already being lost after the discard from you.
If you still have contact with the narcissist after the discard, they will rage or may even use the silent treatment. They will use the narcissistic punishment tactic that will help them preserve the most supply. Even though you have discarded them, you may still have contact with them, but they will control the contact you have through use of the silent treatment.
Regardless, if you have continued contact with them or not, the narcissist will likely start to engage in the smear campaign as a source of damage control. They need to spread the message that you are crazy and the problem so that when it is learned you discarded them, they have some sort of defense as to why that happened. They would never admit they are the problem and will engage in their blame shifting through this smear campaign.
Because you have wronged them by discarding them, they will ensure everyone else knows how horribly you have treated them. And yes, this information will be biased because it is coming from a narcissist that has been discarded. The narcissist is always on the defensive to protect against narcissistic injury and if you make a move to undermine all of the hard work they have done to create a false reality for themselves, you will be punished.
And as you can see, whether you are with the narcissist or not, and regardless of who did the discard, the narcissist is focused only on punishing others because to punish places the control in their hands. At the end of the day, the narcissist doesn’t really care about you or anyone else. They only care about how they feel, and maintaining some sense of stability in a life which always feels unstable and out of control.